You replay a conversation from last week and wonder if you said something wrong. You imagine everything that could go badly tomorrow, from being late to completely failing at work or school. You try to fall asleep, but your brain starts rehearsing a hundred what-if scenarios. You tell yourself to relax, but the thoughts keep coming. It might be due to generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).
Generalized anxiety often fuels a mental loop that feels impossible to shut off. For many people, this takes the form of rumination, where your mind replays worries without resolution, or catastrophizing, where your thoughts leap to worst-case scenarios. These patterns are common, but they can also be overwhelming—and hard to break without support.
If you are a parent, you might see something similar in your child. They may ask the same worried questions over and over, struggle to fall asleep, or become upset over small mistakes. They might seem fine one moment and overwhelmed the next. Their body might show the anxiety their words cannot yet explain through stomachaches, irritability, or clinging behavior.
Whether you are experiencing it yourself or watching it unfold in someone you love, anxiety can feel relentless. These patterns may feel automatic and out of your control, but with the right support and strategies, they can be changed. You do not need to silence every thought to find relief. Instead, you can learn how to respond to thoughts in more helpful, manageable ways.
Our Palo Alto, Menlo Park and San Jose therapists can help with rumination and catastrophizing associated with generalized anxiety.
Contact us today for an appointment.
What Is Rumination?
Rumination is the mental habit of going over the same worry again and again, often without getting anywhere. Instead of solving a problem or finding relief, your mind stays stuck in a loop. People who ruminate tend to overanalyze situations, search for certainty, or try to mentally undo something that already happened. The result is usually more anxiety and less clarity.
Of course, we all think about things that might be worrisome. What makes rumination different from healthy reflection is that it does not move you forward. It keeps you spinning. It increases anxiety, lowers energy, and often leads to feeling even less clear than when you started.
Tip for Reducing Rumination
Try keeping a five-minute “thought journal” once a day. Set a timer and write down everything that’s swirling in your head. Don’t judge it. Don’t try to solve it. Just write. When the timer ends, close the journal and do something grounding, like listening to music, taking a walk, or calling a friend. This helps you practice containing the mental loop instead of getting trapped in it.
What Is Catastrophizing?
Catastrophizing is when your brain jumps to the worst possible outcome and treats it like a near certainty. A small issue becomes a disaster in your mind. It might start with a real concern, but it quickly snowballs into something much bigger.
For example, you might think:
- “If I make one mistake at work, I will get fired.”
- “If my child gets a cold, they will end up in the hospital.”
- “If I say the wrong thing, everyone will hate me.”
Catastrophizing feels convincing in the moment because your anxiety is trying to protect you. Your brain wants to anticipate danger so you can avoid it. But in doing so, it exaggerates the threat and underestimates your ability to cope.
Tip for Reducing Your Catastrophizing
Use the “realistic thinking” tool. When you catch yourself jumping to a worst-case scenario, pause and ask:
- What’s the best case?
- The worst case?
- And the most likely case?
Write them down. Seeing it in writing can reduce emotional intensity and help you respond more rationally, even if your anxiety is still present.
Why Overthinking Feels So Hard to Stop
Anxious thoughts often feel important. Your brain believes that if it can just think about something long enough, you will gain control, avoid a mistake, or stay safe. But thinking does not always lead to clarity. In fact, it often leads to exhaustion.
Overthinking can feel like an endless search for certainty in situations that are inherently uncertain. You may worry about things you cannot control, try to prevent every possible problem, or mentally rehearse conversations in case they go wrong. The more you try to solve the future, the more overwhelmed you feel.
Tip to Help Children with Overworrying
Young children often do not have the language to explain overthinking, but their behaviors can offer clues. Try creating a character for the anxious voice, like “Worry Monster” or “Nervous Ned.” When they start asking repeated questions or expressing fears, help them notice, “Oh, I think the worry monster is talking.” Then guide them to take a deep breath or do something playful to shift their focus. (Secret: this actually works for adults, too.)
How Rumination and Catastrophizing Can Look Different by Age
Overthinking does not necessary look like someone sitting and visibly stressing out. It can show up in subtle, age-specific ways and often hides behind behaviors that seem unrelated at first glance.
Rumination in children might look like
repeatedly asking the same question about something they are worried about, even after they have been reassured. They may fixate on rules, fairness, or fears of something bad happening, often cycling through “what if” scenarios that seem out of proportion to the situation.
Catastrophizing in teens might look different
Teens may replay social interactions over and over, worry excessively about their future, or become paralyzed by fear of making the wrong choice. Catastrophizing can show up in school avoidance, relationship anxiety, or a sense that one mistake will ruin everything.
Generalized Anxiety manifests for adults as well
Adults often experience rumination as persistent self-criticism, dwelling on past conversations, or feeling stuck in analysis paralysis. Catastrophizing may lead to over-preparing, burnout, or imagining that a small issue like a missed deadline will lead to disaster.
Other Factors That Shape How Anxiety Shows Up
Anxiety is not just about age. It is also shaped by personality traits, family environment, cultural norms, and whether someone has other mental health or neurodevelopmental conditions.
- For example, someone with OCD may have intrusive thoughts and engage in rituals to reduce anxiety.
- Someone with ADHD might experience racing thoughts and struggle to switch mental gears.
- Those who are neurodivergent may have heightened sensory responses or rigid thinking patterns that make overthinking feel even more intense.
Gender, upbringing, and life experiences also play a role. Some people are taught to hide their anxiety or push through it, while others may feel shame for needing help.
A Tip for Parents of Overworried Children
If your child’s anxiety seems different from typical worrying, especially if they are highly sensitive, rigid, or resistant to change, it may be helpful to explore neurodiversity with a therapist. Understanding how your child’s brain works can lead to more compassionate and effective strategies.
Generalized Anxiety Can Vary Even Within the Same Person
Many people feel confused by how unpredictable their anxiety can be. One day, you are calm and composed. The next day, the same situation feels overwhelming. That change often has to do with your window of tolerance.
Your window of tolerance is the emotional range where your brain and body feel regulated. Inside that window, anxious thoughts may still arise, but you can manage them. Outside that window, your nervous system either goes into overdrive (panic, irritability, racing thoughts) or shuts down (numbness, fogginess, disconnection).
Factors like sleep, stress, hunger, and emotional exhaustion all affect your window of tolerance. That is why the same situation can feel very different on different days.
Window of Tolerance Tip
Track what helps you stay within your window. That might be breaks during the day, less caffeine, deeper sleep, or regular movement. When your system is better regulated, your thoughts tend to be more manageable too.
How Therapy Helps Break the Overthinking Cycle
Trying to stop overthinking on your own can feel like swimming against the current. Therapy gives you a way to change the current entirely. At Palo Alto Therapy, we specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other approaches that are specifically designed to reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.
In therapy, you will learn to:
- Recognize unhelpful thought patterns
- Understand how anxiety operates in your brain and body
- Practice calming strategies and realistic thinking skills
- Build your emotional resilience and problem-solving confidence
- Respond to stress in ways that feel grounded, not reactive
CBT is active and practical. You will not just talk about your anxiety. You will learn to change your relationship with it, one thought, habit, and success at a time.
Overthinking is exhausting, but it does not have to control your life. Let’s make a difference today.