Play Therapy

Play therapy is one of the core methods of how we are able to help kids thrive. Children of almost all ages come to our Palo Alto, San Jose, or Menlo Park therapists’ offices to work through their varied challenges by engaging in age-appropriate communication through play and self-expression.

Learn more about our therapists here.

Play Therapy is More Than “Just Playing”

Many parents think to themselves, “why would I pay someone so much money to play with my child when they are really in need of help?” It’s okay; we understand that the concept of play therapy can seem strange at first.

However, play therapy is not the same as children just playing.

Play is how children communicate. Children often don’t have the language skills, yet, to express all of what they experience. Particularly when something is hard for them, and even more so when it is traumatic, they literally just don’t have words to say those things. So, they act them out.

Children play-fight with their toys to express anger or frustration. They dress up to express internal parts of themselves that they are trying to understand. They play imagination games like “school” in which they reenact things that are really happening in their day, perhaps in a way that gives them more power and control. Children do this naturally. You have seen it.

Play therapy utilizes this natural form of communication and engages with it in a way that is healing, cathartic, and clarifying for both the children and the adults in their lives. Play therapy is an evidenced-based type of therapy with best practices that licensed therapists are able to use in order to facilitate the play and guide it therapeutically.

What Is Play Therapy?

Play therapy is a structured therapeutic process guided by the therapist to assist the child in working through developmental challenges, behavioral issues, trauma, etc.

It is an evidence-based practice which means that it has been well-researched, established as clinically effective, has endorsement from recognized organizations, and utilizes specific methods.

The Association for Play Therapy defines it as “the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development.” What does that really mean? Well, let’s break it down:

“The systematic use of a theoretical model”: This means that play therapy follows a planned and organized approach based on specific psychological theories (like child development or behavioral theories).

“to establish an interpersonal process”: The therapy creates a relationship or connection between the therapist and the child (or client), which is key to the healing process.

“wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play”: A trained professional (the play therapist) uses play as a tool for therapy. Play has unique abilities to help children express themselves, understand emotions, and work through issues.

“to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties”: The goal is to help the child overcome or avoid challenges related to social or emotional issues (like problems at school, family conflict, anxiety, or trauma).

“and achieve optimal growth and development”: Ultimately, play therapy helps the child grow emotionally, socially, and psychologically in the healthiest way possible.

To put that even more simply: 

Play therapy uses play in a structured, guided way to help children deal with emotional or social problems and grow in a healthy way.

Benefits of Play Therapy

What do children go to play therapy for? Some of the most common reasons kids and teens get play therapy include:

• Behavioral Challenges: This includes aggression, impulsivity, and withdrawal.
• Building Self-Esteem and self-confidence
• Coping with Trauma after events such as abuse, family separation, or natural disasters.
• Developmental Delay and Autism: Improves communication and understanding of own emotions.
• Emotional Expression of feelings they may not be able to verbalize, such as fear, anger, or sadness.
• Family and Relationship Issues: Helps children navigate challenges stemming from family conflict, divorce, or attachment problems.
• Grief and Loss such as after the death of a loved one or a pet or even after a big transition like a move.
• Improving Social Skills including sharing, communication, and cooperation.
• Managing Anxiety including phobias, OCD, and social anxiety.

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Think play therapy might be right for your child or teen? Contact us today to set up an appointment.

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What Age Is Play Therapy For?

The Association for Play Therapy generally recommends play therapy for children ages 3-12. The play therapy professionals at our Menlo Park, Palo Alto, and San Jose therapists’ offices typically see children and teens between the ages of 5-14.

However, that’s just a guideline. 

Taking into consideration developmental differences, neurodiversity, the impact of trauma, or simply different styles of expressing themselves, people of any age might find that play therapy works for them.

Even adults can sometimes benefit from play therapy. Often, it’s integrated with other forms of self-expression including expressive art therapy, drama therapy, and sand tray therapy. However, sometimes it’s also simply called adult play therapy. Because, let’s face it, even if you are very skilled with language, sometimes there just aren’t words to describe what you’re trying to process. Even adults can play their way through to a better understanding.

Obviously, play therapy looks different for children and teens of different ages. Here are some examples of what it might look like at different ages (remembering that this varies widely based on developmental age.)

Example Session for a Five-Year-Old

• Setting: A room filled with toys, art supplies, dolls, puppets, and sensory items like sand trays and play dough.
• Approach: At this age, a non-directive, child-centered approach is common. The therapist lets the child lead the play, allowing them to express feelings and experiences that may be too difficult to verbalize.
• What It Looks Like: The five-year-old might pick up dolls or action figures and act out scenes that represent their feelings or experiences. They may also use play-dough to express themselves through creation. The therapist watches carefully, offering supportive and empathetic comments, but follows the child’s lead. For example, if the child enacts a scenario where one doll is “mad” at another, the therapist might say, “It looks like this doll is feeling very angry.” This opens the door for the child to explore their emotions safely.
• Therapeutic Focus: For younger children, the focus is often on exploring feelings, building trust, and providing emotional outlets, especially if the child is facing issues like anxiety, family changes, or trauma. The therapist might use reflective listening and gentle guidance.

Nine-Year-Old’s Example Session

• Setting: The room still has toys, but also includes more structured activities like board games, puzzles, and art materials such as markers and paper.
• Approach: For a nine-year-old, the therapist might use a combination of directive and non-directive techniques. The child is more capable of engaging in dialogue about their feelings, but play is still a primary way to express emotions.
• What It Looks Like: The nine-year-old might begin by playing a board game with the therapist. During the game, the therapist might introduce questions or comments to help the child talk about their feelings. For example, if playing a game involving winning and losing, the therapist might ask, “How do you feel when you win or lose?” This opens a discussion about handling emotions like frustration, competition, or fear of failure. The child might also draw pictures of their family or a stressful situation, which the therapist can discuss with them.
• Therapeutic Focus: With children around this age, the therapist may help the child develop coping skills for managing anger, sadness, or anxiety. Problem-solving skills and peer relationship challenges are also common themes. The therapist might use more structured activities to guide the child in these areas.

Example Session for a Fourteen-Year-Old

• Setting: A more mature environment, with a space that includes art materials, journaling options, and maybe even music or technology (such as creating digital art or choosing songs). The room might also include items like sand trays or symbolic objects that appeal to older children.
• Approach: At this age, play therapy often takes on a more expressive arts approach. While teenagers may feel too “old” for traditional play, they can still benefit from creative, symbolic forms of expression. The therapist might integrate more talk therapy, but with an emphasis on using art, music, or storytelling to explore emotions.
• What It Looks Like: A fourteen-year-old may start by choosing an art medium, like drawing or painting, to represent how they feel. They may also engage in sand tray work, where they create scenes using figurines or objects. The therapist may gently ask questions like, “Tell me about this scene you’re creating” or “What do these figures represent to you?” allowing the teen to explore deeper emotional content without feeling forced into verbal disclosure. If the teen prefers, they may also write in a journal or discuss songs that resonate with their emotional state.
• Therapeutic Focus: For teenagers, the focus often shifts to identity, autonomy, peer relationships, and self-esteem. Play therapy at this stage can help with processing emotions related to family conflict, academic pressure, or social challenges. It offers a space for self-reflection and emotional processing in a non-threatening, creative way.

Types of Play Therapy

There are many different types of play therapy. In some, the child sees the therapist alone. In others, the parent(s) are included. Sometimes play therapy is directive, meaning the therapist guides the play to target specific therapeutic goals. Some is non-directive, allowing the child or client to lead the play with the therapist offering support and observation. Common types of play therapy include:

Attachment Play Therapy

The attachment between a child and parent plays a critical role in the child’s emotional development. This attachment can be disrupted for many reasons including trauma, adoptions, early separation, and parental illness. Attachment play therapy helps create a more secure attachment by enhancing feelings of trust, safety, and emotional connection through play.

Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT)

In CCPT, the child leads the play while the therapist provides a safe and supportive environment, allowing the child to express emotions and explore their inner world at their own pace. The therapist follows the child’s cues, reflecting back emotions and offering empathy without directing the play.

Cognitive Behavioral Play Therapy (CBPT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective approaches for helping people change their negative thought patterns, strengthen their coping strategies and regulate their emotions. In CBPT, it is adapted using age-appropriate play including structured games, activities, and role-playing. This directive therapy helps kids practice new ways of thinking and solving problems in a way that builds self-esteem and channels emotions appropriately.

Developmental Play Therapy

This type of play therapy focuses on supporting a child’s developmental progress, especially in cases of developmental delays or autism spectrum disorders. It helps improve social skills, emotional regulation, and cognitive abilities through play-based activities tailored to the child’s developmental stage.

Filial Therapy

Parents can learn how to communicate with their children through play. In filial therapy, parents learn play therapy techniques to help their child express emotions and resolve conflicts.

Jungian Play Therapy

This is a non-directive approach inspired by Carl Jung’s theories of the unconscious. It emphasizes the use of symbolism and allows the child to express unconscious emotions and thoughts through play, similar to dream analysis.

Narrative Play Therapy

Kids love stories. Stories help them learn about the world. Stories also help them express themselves. In this approach, the therapist helps the child create a story or narrative using toys or figurines. This is a way of processing the events that are impacting the child, creating a new helpful narrative around them, and improving emotions and behavior as a result.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)

PCIT is a structured therapy that helps improve parent-child relationships and reduce behavior problems by providing parents with real-time coaching during play sessions. The therapist observes and gives immediate feedback to parents, helping them enhance positive interactions and manage their child’s behavior effectively.

Sandplay Therapy

Many play therapists have a little sandbox with various figurines and objects. Children create their own play scenes, symbolically expressing their emotions and unconscious thoughts. The therapist observes these creations and helps the child  explore deeper emotional content without the need for direct verbal communication. This is particularly effective for trauma or complex emotional issues.

Theraplay

Theraplay is a directive play therapy that focuses on improving attachment and building stronger, more positive relationships between children and their caregivers. It has similarities to attachment play therapy, but has a more specific format and sessions are guided more by the therapist than the child.

Trauma-Focused Play Therapy

Trauma-focused or trauma-informed play therapy helps children process and heal from traumatic experiences through play, allowing them to explore and express emotions in a safe, supportive environment. It can integrate other models, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), to enhance therapeutic outcomes for trauma recovery.

As you can see, there are many different types of play therapy to help children. But don’t worry, you don’t have to figure out which one is right for you or your child. Your therapist will do that, often blending different approaches as needed to offer the best possible experience and outcome from therapy.

Play Therapy FAQ

How do I know if my child needs therapy?

Signs that your child could benefit include frequent tantrums, withdrawal from social situations, nightmares, or difficulty expressing emotions. If you see a change in behavior, mood, eating, or sleeping, then you might want to consider play therapy to help.

What should I expect during the first therapy session?

In the first session, the therapist usually meets with the parents to gather background information about the child and the family. The therapist may also introduce the child to the playroom and observe how they engage with the toys and activities to assess their needs.

What is the role of parents in play therapy?

In some forms of play therapy, parents are trained to be part of the therapy process. This is part of the process in Filial Therapy and Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). They learn therapeutic techniques to use during play sessions at home. This helps strengthen their relationship with their child and support emotional development. On the other hand, in many play therapy types children attend sessions alone. In these, parents play a supportive, reinforcing role, ensuring consistency between therapy sessions and the home environment.

How long does play therapy typically last?

Each session might last 30-50 minutes, take place once a week, and continue for several months. However, this varies widely on the child, their needs, the type of therapy they’re working with, and other factors. Sometimes when parents ask this question, the underlying question is: “will my child be in therapy forever?” Children may return to therapy over the years as they face new challenges but generally play therapy is a short-term solution-focused type of therapy.

Will play therapy change my child?

It can help facilitate positive changes in your child by providing them with tools to better express and process emotions. However, it doesn’t change their core personality. Common changes include reduced anxiety, improved behavior, and healthier social interactions. Of course, the pace and extent of these changes depend on the individual child and their circumstances​

Can play therapy be done online?

Play therapy can be completed online through tools like Zoom. In fact, it’s sometimes called tele-play therapy. In certain cases, this is necessary and some of our therapists offer this. However, we have found that in-person play therapy is typically most effective. It allows children to engage with a rich, sensory environment, which is crucial for therapeutic play. Therapists can also observe nonverbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, more easily. Additionally, the physical presence fosters a stronger connection, which helps build trust and safety in the therapeutic process.

How do I choose the right therapist for my child?

It’s important to work with a licensed therapist who has specific training and experience in working with children. Many of our therapists specialize in play therapy. Our Menlo Park therapy office is particularly focused on working with children. However, you can also find a therapist at our Palo Alto and San Jose therapy offices if that’s more convenient.

Contact us today; we are happy to answer your questions about choosing the right play therapist.