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Play therapy is one of the core methods of how we are able to help kids thrive. Children of almost all ages come to our Palo Alto, San Jose, or Menlo Park therapists’ offices to work through their varied challenges by engaging in age-appropriate communication through play and self-expression.
Many parents think to themselves, “why would I pay someone so much money to play with my child when they are really in need of help?” It’s okay; we understand that the concept of play therapy can seem strange at first.
However, play therapy is not the same as children just playing.
Play is how children communicate. Children often don’t have the language skills, yet, to express all of what they experience. Particularly when something is hard for them, and even more so when it is traumatic, they literally just don’t have words to say those things. So, they act them out.
Children play-fight with their toys to express anger or frustration. They dress up to express internal parts of themselves that they are trying to understand. They play imagination games like “school” in which they reenact things that are really happening in their day, perhaps in a way that gives them more power and control. Children do this naturally. You have seen it.
Play therapy utilizes this natural form of communication and engages with it in a way that is healing, cathartic, and clarifying for both the children and the adults in their lives. Play therapy is an evidenced-based type of therapy with best practices that licensed therapists are able to use in order to facilitate the play and guide it therapeutically.
What Is Play Therapy?Play therapy is a structured therapeutic process guided by the therapist to assist the child in working through developmental challenges, behavioral issues, trauma, etc.
It is an evidence-based practice which means that it has been well-researched, established as clinically effective, has endorsement from recognized organizations, and utilizes specific methods.
The Association for Play Therapy defines it as “the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development.” What does that really mean? Well, let’s break it down:
“The systematic use of a theoretical model”: This means that play therapy follows a planned and organized approach based on specific psychological theories (like child development or behavioral theories).
“to establish an interpersonal process”: The therapy creates a relationship or connection between the therapist and the child (or client), which is key to the healing process.
“wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play”: A trained professional (the play therapist) uses play as a tool for therapy. Play has unique abilities to help children express themselves, understand emotions, and work through issues.
“to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties”: The goal is to help the child overcome or avoid challenges related to social or emotional issues (like problems at school, family conflict, anxiety, or trauma).
“and achieve optimal growth and development”: Ultimately, play therapy helps the child grow emotionally, socially, and psychologically in the healthiest way possible.
To put that even more simply:
What do children go to play therapy for? Some of the most common reasons kids and teens get play therapy include:
The Association for Play Therapy generally recommends play therapy for children ages 3-12. The play therapy professionals at our Menlo Park, Palo Alto, and San Jose therapists’ offices typically see children and teens between the ages of 5-14.
However, that’s just a guideline.
Taking into consideration developmental differences, neurodiversity, the impact of trauma, or simply different styles of expressing themselves, people of any age might find that play therapy works for them.
Even adults can sometimes benefit from play therapy. Often, it’s integrated with other forms of self-expression including expressive art therapy, drama therapy, and sand tray therapy. However, sometimes it’s also simply called adult play therapy. Because, let’s face it, even if you are very skilled with language, sometimes there just aren’t words to describe what you’re trying to process. Even adults can play their way through to a better understanding.
Obviously, play therapy looks different for children and teens of different ages. Here are some examples of what it might look like at different ages (remembering that this varies widely based on developmental age.)
There are many different types of play therapy. In some, the child sees the therapist alone. In others, the parent(s) are included. Sometimes play therapy is directive, meaning the therapist guides the play to target specific therapeutic goals. Some is non-directive, allowing the child or client to lead the play with the therapist offering support and observation. Common types of play therapy include:
The attachment between a child and parent plays a critical role in the child’s emotional development. This attachment can be disrupted for many reasons including trauma, adoptions, early separation, and parental illness. Attachment play therapy helps create a more secure attachment by enhancing feelings of trust, safety, and emotional connection through play.
In CCPT, the child leads the play while the therapist provides a safe and supportive environment, allowing the child to express emotions and explore their inner world at their own pace. The therapist follows the child’s cues, reflecting back emotions and offering empathy without directing the play.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective approaches for helping people change their negative thought patterns, strengthen their coping strategies and regulate their emotions. In CBPT, it is adapted using age-appropriate play including structured games, activities, and role-playing. This directive therapy helps kids practice new ways of thinking and solving problems in a way that builds self-esteem and channels emotions appropriately.
This type of play therapy focuses on supporting a child’s developmental progress, especially in cases of developmental delays or autism spectrum disorders. It helps improve social skills, emotional regulation, and cognitive abilities through play-based activities tailored to the child’s developmental stage.
Parents can learn how to communicate with their children through play. In filial therapy, parents learn play therapy techniques to help their child express emotions and resolve conflicts.
This is a non-directive approach inspired by Carl Jung’s theories of the unconscious. It emphasizes the use of symbolism and allows the child to express unconscious emotions and thoughts through play, similar to dream analysis.
Kids love stories. Stories help them learn about the world. Stories also help them express themselves. In this approach, the therapist helps the child create a story or narrative using toys or figurines. This is a way of processing the events that are impacting the child, creating a new helpful narrative around them, and improving emotions and behavior as a result.
PCIT is a structured therapy that helps improve parent-child relationships and reduce behavior problems by providing parents with real-time coaching during play sessions. The therapist observes and gives immediate feedback to parents, helping them enhance positive interactions and manage their child’s behavior effectively.
Many play therapists have a little sandbox with various figurines and objects. Children create their own play scenes, symbolically expressing their emotions and unconscious thoughts. The therapist observes these creations and helps the child explore deeper emotional content without the need for direct verbal communication. This is particularly effective for trauma or complex emotional issues.
Theraplay is a directive play therapy that focuses on improving attachment and building stronger, more positive relationships between children and their caregivers. It has similarities to attachment play therapy, but has a more specific format and sessions are guided more by the therapist than the child.
Trauma-focused or trauma-informed play therapy helps children process and heal from traumatic experiences through play, allowing them to explore and express emotions in a safe, supportive environment. It can integrate other models, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), to enhance therapeutic outcomes for trauma recovery.
As you can see, there are many different types of play therapy to help children. But don’t worry, you don’t have to figure out which one is right for you or your child. Your therapist will do that, often blending different approaches as needed to offer the best possible experience and outcome from therapy.
Signs that your child could benefit include frequent tantrums, withdrawal from social situations, nightmares, or difficulty expressing emotions. If you see a change in behavior, mood, eating, or sleeping, then you might want to consider play therapy to help.
In the first session, the therapist usually meets with the parents to gather background information about the child and the family. The therapist may also introduce the child to the playroom and observe how they engage with the toys and activities to assess their needs.
In some forms of play therapy, parents are trained to be part of the therapy process. This is part of the process in Filial Therapy and Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). They learn therapeutic techniques to use during play sessions at home. This helps strengthen their relationship with their child and support emotional development. On the other hand, in many play therapy types children attend sessions alone. In these, parents play a supportive, reinforcing role, ensuring consistency between therapy sessions and the home environment.
Each session might last 30-50 minutes, take place once a week, and continue for several months. However, this varies widely on the child, their needs, the type of therapy they’re working with, and other factors. Sometimes when parents ask this question, the underlying question is: “will my child be in therapy forever?” Children may return to therapy over the years as they face new challenges but generally play therapy is a short-term solution-focused type of therapy.
It can help facilitate positive changes in your child by providing them with tools to better express and process emotions. However, it doesn’t change their core personality. Common changes include reduced anxiety, improved behavior, and healthier social interactions. Of course, the pace and extent of these changes depend on the individual child and their circumstances
Play therapy can be completed online through tools like Zoom. In fact, it’s sometimes called tele-play therapy. In certain cases, this is necessary and some of our therapists offer this. However, we have found that in-person play therapy is typically most effective. It allows children to engage with a rich, sensory environment, which is crucial for therapeutic play. Therapists can also observe nonverbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, more easily. Additionally, the physical presence fosters a stronger connection, which helps build trust and safety in the therapeutic process.
It’s important to work with a licensed therapist who has specific training and experience in working with children. Many of our therapists specialize in play therapy. Our Menlo Park therapy office is particularly focused on working with children. However, you can also find a therapist at our Palo Alto and San Jose therapy offices if that’s more convenient.
Contact us today; we are happy to answer your questions about choosing the right play therapist.
At Palo Alto Therapy, we help kids through adults overcome challenges such as anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and life transitions. Our compassionate, highly-trained therapists use evidence-based techniques to create meaningful, lasting results—often without long-term counseling.
Specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we provide effective & caring counseling. Our therapists are passionate in delivering high-quality therapy & enhance their skills through the latest trainings.
Our relationship with you is valued & of highest importance. We are compassionate, respectful, & honest. Our professional counseling includes working side by side with you towards YOUR goals.
Our active therapists use tailored homework exercises to help you find relief in a timely manner. By keeping our meetings on track & targeting specific concerns we help you enjoy life again, usually in a matter of months not years.
Appointments after 5pm & Saturdays, friendly administrative staff, & three locations: Palo Alto, Menlo Park, & San Jose. We help children, teens & adults, couples, & families. Video therapy available!
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