From the fear of flying to the panic around vomiting or the dread of doctors, a phobia can sneak into our lives and quietly shrink our world. They often start young, can stick around for decades, and tend to bring shame along with them, especially when no one else seems to understand why that one thing feels so terrifying.
Right now, as recent news reports about plane crashes stir fear, we’re hearing from more people anxious about travel. At the same time, many parents are reaching out about children who refuse vaccines, panic at the idea of throwing up, or cry at the mention of the dentist.
At Palo Alto Therapy, we specialize in helping kids, teens, and adults overcome specific phobias using evidence-based treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). These are not about forcing people to just “get over it.” They are about understanding fear, building tolerance, and regaining control.
Our Palo Alto, Menlo Park and San Jose therapists can help with phobias.
Contact us today for an appointment.
Fear of Flying: When Worry Takes the Pilot’s Seat
Fear of flying, or aviophobia, looks different depending on your age and life experience.
Children may be frightened by loud noises, pressure changes, or just the unfamiliar experience of being high above the ground. Teens might become more aware of catastrophic what if thoughts, especially after hearing about accidents in the news. Adults often carry more responsibility, whether for children, business travel, or family obligations, and fear the loss of control, panic during the flight, or being trapped midair.
Recent events have added fuel to these fears. Even if you logically know air travel is statistically safe, your body may still brace for disaster every time the plane hits turbulence or the doors close.
Helpful Tips for Fear of Flying
For parents:
Before the flight, read picture books or watch kid-friendly videos about airplanes to build familiarity. Role-play the airport experience at home, from checking in to buckling a seatbelt, so your child knows what to expect. Bringing a comfort item like a favorite stuffed animal or a small surprise activity for the flight can also ease anxiety and give them a sense of control.
For teens and adults:
If you’re nervous about flying, try breaking the experience into parts: packing, arriving at the airport, boarding, taking off, and cruising. Practice calming techniques in each of those steps before the day of the flight. Working with a therapist can help you rehearse these situations using imagery, video, or even virtual reality before facing the real thing.
Emetophobia: The Fear of Vomiting That Few People Talk About
Emetophobia, or the fear of vomiting, is a surprisingly common and often deeply isolating phobia. This phobia may center on getting sick yourself, seeing someone else vomit, or being stuck somewhere without a way to escape if illness happens.
It often begins in childhood after a bad stomach bug or a panic-inducing experience at school. It can cause kids to avoid eating, fear car rides or cafeterias, and resist sleepovers or travel. For adults, it can mean avoiding social events, restaurants, or even pregnancy.
This phobia is often tied to the fear of flying too. People worry about nausea during turbulence, getting trapped in a confined space, or being surrounded by others who might get sick.
Helpful Tips for Fear of Vomiting
For parents:
If your child avoids activities for fear of vomiting, validate that the fear feels very real to them, even if it seems irrational. Try not to offer blanket reassurances like “You won’t get sick.” Instead, ask curious questions and model confidence: “I know you’re worried. How can we make this feel safer today?” A therapist can help create a step-by-step plan to gently expose them to triggers without overwhelming them.
For teens and adults:
Start by gently challenging avoidance habits. For example, if you skip certain foods or social settings out of fear, pick one low-stakes situation to reintroduce gradually. Practice calming strategies like paced breathing or grounding techniques when anxiety starts to rise. Writing down your specific fears and tracking how often the feared outcome actually happens can also help separate fear from likelihood. Therapy can support this process in a structured, safe way.
Fear of Needles, Doctors, or Dentists: When Appointments Become Panic Triggers
Needle phobia, or trypanophobia, is common, especially in children, but it’s often just one part of a larger fear. Many people also dread going to the doctor, dentist, or any medical setting where they might lose control or anticipate pain.
Children might resist vaccinations, scream during dental cleanings, or hide before routine checkups. Teens may avoid needed medical care entirely. Adults sometimes delay bloodwork, cancel procedures, or silently endure panic during every appointment.
These fears can include physical symptoms like dizziness or fainting, especially with needle exposure, making the fear feel even more intense.
Helpful Tips for Medical Fears
For parents:
- Prepare your child gently but honestly. Let them know what to expect and offer simple choices (which arm, what time of day).
- Normalize fear. “Lots of kids feel nervous at the doctor. You’re not alone.”
- Use calming strategies: deep breathing, a favorite stuffed animal, or a distraction video during the visit.
- Praise bravery, not just compliance. “You used your deep breaths, and that was really strong.”
For teens and adults:
Start by naming the fear to your provider before the visit. Letting them know you are anxious opens the door to adjustments, like taking breaks, lying down, or using distraction. A therapist can also teach specific tools like applied tension or visualization to reduce panic and build confidence before medical visits.
What About Other Phobias?
While flying, vomiting, and medical fears are common, they are far from the only ones. Some people fear heights or elevators. Others struggle with public speaking, spiders, thunderstorms, driving, or even small holes. These fears can feel irrational, embarrassing, or not serious enough to talk about. But if they are interfering with your life, they matter.
Phobias often lead to avoidance. Over time, avoidance can become the main coping strategy, but it also reinforces the belief that the feared thing is truly dangerous. Eventually, life starts to shrink.
How Neurodivergent People Experience Phobias Differently
Phobias can affect anyone, but for people who are neurodivergent (including those with autism, ADHD, OCD, or sensory processing differences) fears often show up in unique ways. What might seem like a minor stressor to someone else can feel overwhelming or even unmanageable to someone whose brain processes information differently.
For example, a child on the autism spectrum may become intensely fearful of loud noises on airplanes, the unpredictability of vomiting, or the sterile smells and bright lights of a medical office. These fears can be linked not just to the event itself, but to sensory overload or a disruption in routine.
Someone with ADHD may struggle with the executive functioning needed to plan around a feared situation. They may also experience heightened emotional responses or have trouble using calming strategies in the moment.
For people with OCD, phobias may overlap with obsessive thoughts. Fear of vomiting, for example, can become part of a cycle of compulsive checking, avoidance, or ritual behaviors. A person might constantly scan their body for signs of illness, avoid public spaces, or seek reassurance from others.
Phobias in neurodivergent individuals are not always easy to spot because they can look like resistance, rigidity, or behavioral outbursts. But underneath, there’s often real fear, and the good news is that therapy can be adapted to help.
Therapists at Palo Alto Therapy tailor treatment to the individual, not just the diagnosis. That might mean using more visual tools, breaking down steps into smaller parts, building in sensory accommodations, or including parents and caregivers as part of the support team. Our goal is always to help each person feel safe, heard, and empowered.
Phobia therapy works best when it reflects how your brain works. We take the time to understand that.
Do I Really Need Therapy for a Phobia?
Not everyone needs therapy for every fear. But if a specific phobia is getting in the way of school, work, travel, health, or relationships, it may be time to seek help.
Therapy can provide a safe, supportive space to face fears gradually and gain tools to manage anxiety. Treatment usually focuses on reducing avoidance, changing fearful thinking, and building new experiences with the feared object or situation.
At Palo Alto Therapy, we work with children, teens, and adults to treat phobias using methods that are effective and compassionate. We’ll never push you into something you’re not ready for. Instead, we help you move forward, one small and empowering step at a time.
If You or Your Child Is Struggling With a Phobia…
You are not alone, and you don’t have to power through it on your own. Whether it’s flying, vomiting, medical visits, or something else entirely, therapy can help you or your child feel braver, calmer, and more in control.