The holidays can be wonderful. They can also be really stressful. If you can find ways to navigate holiday stress relief then you can increase the joy that you experience at this time. Or, at least, you can experience rest and ease during what can often feel like the busiest time of year. After all, the holidays offer an opportunity to foster resilience, deepen connections, and create meaningful traditions—even in the face of stress.
Read about the common causes of holiday family stress.
Prioritizing Connection Over Perfection, Spending and A Packed Schedule
The holidays can easily become a time of striving for perfection, with elaborate meals, meticulously decorated spaces, and countless planned activities. However, this pressure often leads to unnecessary stress. Focusing on connection instead of perfection can transform the season into a time of joy and togetherness. Shift the emphasis to meaningful and achievable activities, such as:
- Baking together, even if the cookies don’t turn out picture-perfect—the memories are what matter.
- Sharing stories or favorite memories around the dinner table to foster connection.
- Creating handmade ornaments, writing holiday letters, or engaging in simple crafts as a family.
Additionally, managing spending and schedules is crucial for holiday stress relief. Set realistic budgets and discuss as a family what truly matters to avoid financial strain. Similarly, streamline packed schedules by prioritizing the most meaningful events and leaving space for rest and spontaneity.
Structuring the Day for Success
A structured day can reduce the chaos of holiday schedules. Try implementing these strategies:
- Morning Rituals: Begin the day with a grounding activity, like a family breakfast or a short walk.
- Planned Breaks: Schedule downtime between activities to rest and recharge.
- Evening Wind-Down: End the day with calming routines, such as reading together or reflecting on the day’s highlights.
A no-screen time each day can also be very beneficial.
Incorporating Physical Activity
Physical activity is a proven stress reliever and can bring families closer together. Consider incorporating activities like:
- A holiday-themed scavenger hunt
- Ice skating or hiking
- Stretching or yoga
- Long walks to look at holiday lights
Creating New Traditions
If old traditions feel overwhelming, consider creating new ones that align with your family’s values and energy levels. Some ideas include:
- Volunteering together to spread holiday cheer.
- Hosting a pajama day with movies and simple comfort foods.
- Taking turns choosing a low-stress activity that everyone can enjoy.
3 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Techniques for Holiday Stress Relief
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers practical tools for managing holiday stress. These techniques can help families reframe their thoughts and respond to challenges with resilience. Our therapists are skilled at helping families with these tools. You can also incorporate some of the ideas from CBT on your own:
1. Reframing Negative Thoughts
The holidays can amplify stress-inducing thoughts, such as “I have to please everyone” or “Everything will go wrong.” Some of the ways to challenge thoughts include asking yourself:
- Is this thought realistic? What evidence supports or contradicts this thought?
- What’s a more balanced way to view this situation? For example, replace “I have to make everyone happy” with “I can’t control how others feel, but I can create a welcoming environment.”
- Am I focusing on the worst-case scenario? Shift attention to more likely outcomes and positive possibilities.
- How would I respond if a loved one expressed this thought? Practice offering yourself the same compassion and perspective you’d give to someone else.
- What is one small step I can take to feel more in control of this situation? This can help replace feelings of helplessness with a sense of agency.
- Is this thought helping or harming my holiday experience? Let go of thoughts that fuel unnecessary stress and focus on what brings joy.
2. Practicing Gratitude:
Gratitude exercises can shift focus from what’s stressful to what’s meaningful. Try:
- Keeping a gratitude journal and sharing entries during family gathering
- Creating a “gratitude jar” where family members write down something they’re thankful for each day and read them together during a holiday meal.
- Starting a group text or email chain to share daily gratitude reflections with friends and family throughout the season.
- Taking a gratitude walk where you intentionally notice things in the surroundings that you are thankful for.
- Making a family gratitude collage with photos, drawings, or clippings representing things everyone appreciates.
- Playing a gratitude game, such as going around the table and naming one thing you’re thankful for that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
- Writing thank-you notes or cards to people who have made a positive impact during the year.
3. Mindful Breathing
When emotions run high, a few minutes of mindful breathing can help you reset.
- Breathe in deeply for a count of four, visualizing yourself inhaling calm and ease.
- Hold your breath for a count of four, imagining that you’re pausing the chaos of the day.
- Exhale slowly for a count of four, visualizing stress and tension leaving your body.
Tips:
- Focus on the sensations of the breath—the cool air entering your nostrils, the rise and fall of your chest, and the warmth of the exhaled air.
- Add a holiday-specific intention, such as repeating a mantra in your mind with each breath. For example: “Inhale peace, exhale joy,” or “Inhale calm, exhale connection.”
- Engage your senses to anchor yourself further. Notice the scent of a holiday candle, the twinkle of lights, or the texture of a cozy blanket nearby as you breathe.
This simple practice can help you pause and recalibrate during moments of holiday stress, creating space for patience, joy, and meaningful connection.
The Power of Clear Communication
Open and honest communication is a cornerstone of reducing holiday stress. Families can benefit from setting aside time to discuss their plans and expectations before the holiday rush begins. Consider hosting a family meeting to:
- Share priorities for the season, ensuring that everyone feels heard.
- Discuss schedules and logistics to avoid last-minute conflicts.
- Set boundaries around activities and commitments, such as deciding which invitations to accept and which to decline.
- Practice kindness and empathy, recognizing that everyone handles stress differently
Encourage each family member to express what they value most about the holidays. This simple practice fosters understanding and creates a shared vision, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
Of course, not all families are able to implement this type of communication without some therapy. Be gentle with yourself regarding what your family can handle. Family therapy, couples therapy and individual therapy can all help at this time of year.